It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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