Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize