We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
