Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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