i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My balls are so social today.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
