clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
