just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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