allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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