Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
