All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
