captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
