i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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