He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
