i just had sex bonerless
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
