Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i love accidental penises.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
