I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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