I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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