yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
