College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
