I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
