Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
