nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
