I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
