I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
