party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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