New invention idea: vibrating tampons
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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