Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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