Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
