there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
