real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
