pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
