So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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