It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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