on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
When are your genitals available?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
