U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
