I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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