So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
