Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Still dying that you shit outside
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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