I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
