porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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