Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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