i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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