I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We need to feng shui this bitch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
