Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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