What did we do last night that was yellow?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
