needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
