So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
