Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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