her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
