We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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