Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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