I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
